How To Inform Loved Ones Of A Death

The death of a loved one can be an extremely upsetting time for family members and friends. One of the most difficult things you may need to do during this time is tell others of your loss. It can be hard to know what to say, how to say it and to figure out exactly who needs to be told. But if you’re struggling, you can use this guide to help you get started and to make the process as simple as possible.

●       Who to inform

There are many people who need to be informed of your loved one’s passing, so it can unfortunately be easy to forget someone. Therefore, it’s best to try and write a list before you begin contacting anyone so you can keep track. It can also help to divide the list into categories to help you remember who to call.

Having a detailed list can also be useful if you would like help making the calls. It can be a good idea to ask people to help you make these calls to limit the emotional strain on you in this difficult time.

Start your list with family or friends who were not present when your loved one died. You may want to spend extra time talking to these people and sharing your memories, for instance. Additionally, it’s an important courtesy to inform those close to the deceased as soon as possible. They may feel offended otherwise if they find out some time later or through another source.

Your list should also include their workplace. If your loved one died suddenly, you will need to inform their workplace to avoid awkward interactions. Their workplace may also want to help celebrate your loved one’s memory.

Another category could also be for community and religious groups your loved one was a part of. You don’t need to call everyone in these groups but instead can contact the head of the groups to let other members know.

●       What to say

This conversation can be difficult, but it’s important to ensure whoever you call has the information they need to help memorialise your loved one. It can be helpful to have a list with you that has the following information on it:

·         Date, time and cause of death

·         Date and time of funeral service

·         Location of funeral service

·         Details for any pre- and post-service events

·         Additional information, like if donations should be made to charity in the name of the deceased person or where flowers can be sent

This can also be the time to mention additional information, like who is organising the funeral or wake, as well as if a deceased estate clearance will be held. 

If you’re struggling, write out a script to follow as you let people know. This can help you ensure that no important details are left out, as well as make it easier for you to answer any questions people may have. A script can also be helpful if other people will be helping you make the calls. They can use it to ensure everyone gets the same information.

●       How to say it

You have a few options as to how you tell people about a loved one’s passing. For close friends and family members, it’s best to speak with them in person if you can. This way you can support one another as you grieve.

If you cannot meet with them, call them on the phone. Give yourself plenty of time to make each call so you don’t feel rushed or need to cut someone off as they speak.

You can also publish an obituary in the local paper so that other members of the community are aware of your loved one’s passing. An obituary is a chance to celebrate the deceased’s life and can be a way to reach people you may not have contact details for. 

Some people also like to make an announcement on social media, like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You may be able to do so from your loved one’s account or from your own. This can be a modern way to ensure that those who are invited to the funeral have the details on hand, rather than sending traditional funeral notices.

Conclusion

While it can be difficult to be the bearer of bad news, it’s important to share the death of your loved one with other important people in their life. Take the emotional space that you need to grieve and ask for help if you’re struggling. Use the steps above to make this process easier so you can focus on memorialising your loved one and celebrating their life instead.